We all suffer, and we all want relief. Often, people come to psychotherapy because they want their suffering to stop. Sometimes this question comes directly from a child and sometimes it comes from a parent. “Please, can you just make this stop?”
CBT tools can be very helpful. They can give people a way to slow things down, identify what they are feeling, notice the thoughts connected to those feelings, and choose a different response. For many people, that kind of structure is relieving. Sometimes a tool helps for a little while and then the same painful pattern returns. A person may feel better in a therapy session, but then feel overwhelmed again when they are back in the situations that trouble them. They may know what they “should” think or do, but still feel unable to make the change last. That is where deeper psychotherapy can be useful. My approach is not only to offer tools, but also to understand what gets in the way of using them. Why does this feeling come back so strongly? Why does this pattern keep repeating? Why does relief feel temporary? What makes change hard to hold onto?
The goal is not just to feel better for a moment, but to help the improvement last — to become more internalized and more a part of the person. That kind of change can take time, and it is often not easy. But it can also be the work that helps people feel less trapped by the same old patterns. The CBT tool below is something I give to teens who want something practical to use between sessions. It can help them settle themselves, organize their thoughts, and get clearer about what is causing their distress. Feel free to try it and see how it works for you. Simply knowing there is something you can do that helps can be enough to feel better.
One important point, however, if you try to use this handout. It may be useful to notice what happens especially if the tool does not get you the result you hope for. If a tool does not help enough, that does not mean you failed. It may mean there is something important to understand. A good psychotherapy relationship can help make sense of what gets in the way.